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The Lambton Worm

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I can't be bothered

One Sunday morn young Lambton
Went a-fishin' in the Wear;
An' catched a fish upon his huek,
He thowt leuk't varry queer,
But whatt'n a kind a fish it was
Young Lambton couldn't tell.
He waddn't fash to carry it hyem,
So he hoyed it in a well.

Whisht! lads, haad yor gobs,
Aa'll tell ye aall and aaful story,

Whisht! lads, haad yor gobs,
An' Aal tell ye 'bout the worm.

Noo Lambton felt inclined to gan
An' fight in foreign wars.
He joined a troop o' Knights that cared
For neither wounds nor scars,

An' off he went to Palestine
Where queer things him befel,
An' varry seun forgot aboot
The queer worm i' the well.

I've forgotten about the worm.

Whisht! lads, haad yor gobs,
Aa'll tell ye aall and aaful story,

Whisht! lads, haad yor gobs,
An' Aal tell ye 'bout the worm.

I'm thirsty

But the worm got fat an' growed an' growed,
An' growed an aaful size;
He'd greet big teeth, a greet big gob,
An' greet big goggle eyes.

An' when at neets he craaled aboot
To pick up bits o'news,
If he felt dry upon the road,
He milked a dozen coos.

Whisht! lads, haad yor gobs,
Aa'll tell ye aall and aaful story,

Whisht! lads, haad yor gobs,
An' Aal tell ye 'bout the worm.

This feorful worm wad often feed
On calves an' lambs an' sheep,
An' swally little bairns alive
When they laid doon to sleep.

An' when he'd eaten aal he cud
An' he had has he's fill,
He craaled away an' lapped his tail
Seven times roond Pensher Hill.

I've got a long tail

Whisht! lads, haad yor gobs,
Aa'll tell ye aall and aaful story,

Whisht! lads, haad yor gobs,
An' Aal tell ye 'bout the worm.

I'll have my dinner before Sir John comes

The news of this most aaful worm
An' his queer gannins on
Seun crossed the seas, gat to the ears
Of brave an' bowld Sir John.
So hyem he cam an' catched the beast
An' cut 'im in three halves,
An' that seun stopped he's eatin' bairns,
An' sheep an' lambs and calves.

Whisht! lads, haad yor gobs,
Aa'll tell ye aall and aaful story,

Whisht! lads, haad yor gobs,
An' Aal tell ye 'bout the worm.

So noo ye knaa hoo aall the folks
On byeth sides of the Wear
Lost lots o' sheep an' lots o' sleep
An' lived in mortal feor.

So let's hev one to brave Sir John
That kept the bairns frae harm
Saved coos an' calves by myekin' haalves
O' the famis Lambton Worm

I hope that teaches him a lesson.

Noo lads, Aa'll haad me gob,
That's aall Aa knaa aboot the story
Of Sir John's clivvor job
Wi' the aaful Lambton Worm!